Z is not a smiley baby. At least not yet. He frowns a lot – appears to be some sort of thinker and is quite argumentative when he wants to be. He protests vehemently at diaper changes and hasn’t quite taken to washing his hair yet but don’t let this give you the wrong impression. He’s a beautiful, happy and content lil boy. He rarely cries unless we fail to interpret his signals for food, tiredness or discomfort and he’s a dream to be around, sleeping for 4 straight hours at night from week 5. He first smiled on my birthday, when we got him home from the hospital after his bout of jaundice. And then he got pricey with his smiles, only letting his cute dimples show under REM. Only recently he’s started to smile a wee bit when we talk to him and if we sing his favourite songs. And then too, very rarely.
But today, just now in fact, after a tiring diaper change where he yet again decided to pee all over himself (how DO you deal with that I wonder) right after I opened his diaper – resulting in a change of clothes and a wipe down of his whole body (something he does NOT like at all) I swaddled him in his ridiculously expensive Aden & Anais piece of muslin and put him in his cot and he began to settle – closing his eyes slowly. As I watched him, he turned to me and smiled. And my heart skipped a beat. 🙂 Of course it could’ve been REM. In fact it probably was. But just for that moment Z, I got a glimpse of what it would feel like for you to look at me and smile. Just for me. Maybe like a private joke we may share or maybe a happy moment – and I know, I just know that those smiles will be tremendous and wonderful and joyous and I hope I never take them for granted. Because you are so beautiful baby boy and I love you forever!